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REAL DILBERT'S 
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We recently received a memo from senior management saying:" This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the memo mentioned above."( Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)

One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said," If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!"( New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards.)

As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo in one of the sentences I mentioned the " pedagogical approach " used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR director's office, and told that the executive vi
ce president wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for perverts ( pedophiles?) working in her company. Finally, he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired and the word " pedagogical" circled in red. The HR manager was fairl
y reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later, a memo to the entire staff came out directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned.
In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday paper.( Taco Bell Corporation)


August 14th, 2006, 11:19 pm
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